Wait, just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer, or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie. That means you can dance! Please, let me in on it. I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus. He needed a hot wife to impress his partners and I wanted a loft and a legacy at Yale for Milo. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get drunk enough to make you all seem interesting.
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